"Earning" First Communion

Today was the first day of school.  Our oldest son started Second Grade, which is a big deal since... it's a "sacrament year."  But his behavior has been so... challenging at Mass this summer.  So last week, we had (for the 3rd time) a talk about Church behavior.  Again, I said something along the lines of:  "You're not making your First Communion just because you're in second grade, or because all your friends are.  You've got to want it, to be ready for it, and to be able to show us you're ready."  It was a good talk, I thought.

This week, his behavior at Mass was *much* better.  He sang refrains, he prayed aloud the phrases he knew, he only tormented his baby brother 3 or 4 times.   I complimented him after Mass, and he replied:  "I know, Mom.  I've got to be good at Mass so I can earn my First Communion."

NO!  Oh gosh, NO.  That's not how Sacraments work!  They're GIFTS from God- freely given!  There's nothing we DO that makes us DESERVE God's Grace!  

Of course, I didn't say anything like that because I was so dumbfounded I just... stood there, with my mouth open.  He skipped down the aisle to catch up with the rest of the family.  And now, I've got a new problem on my hands:  

how do I explain Communion

and encourage good behavior at Mass

without wrecking his idea of God?!

It's a rabbit hole question, of course, leading to other ones:  what IS good behavior at Mass?  If I get my family on board, how do I get our pew-neighbors on board too?   *sigh*    It's time for more coffee.